Regrets

Today is the second day of our breakup. Still fking miss u. But for our future I had to
do this. I have to think of wat I am doing when I ord and stuff. I guess u already Noe
wat u are doing le. So all left shld be me nia. I don Noe wether wat u told me
yesterday, is to let me continue or just to play with me. But I don care, I don wan
to waste time on tat. If not I will never move on from tat step. I am glad tat u
thought me how to read tat. But I didt Noe tat u have regret teaching me tat. In a
good or a bad way ? U make me really confuse. But it ok. Without all these shit and
pain, wat will still push me on to excel. I also don wan last minute. It time I do
something for myself. Nothing is gona happen without excute it. Went to do some fico
this morning, everything is so different man. Not msging u, update you. Everything
seem so wrong. I don noe how u are handling it. But this is killing me. Maybe all
the pain I gave u, had already nullified all these. I don Noe how long I will be
doing this. If only we have some time out time out time. I hope I can handle this.
Putting up a fake smile up, forcing the other me to take over this body.

I had already plan quite a few stuff le, timing for this shit and some of my future
planning. I decide to try my chance on rp and if tat fail, I will go for private.
And chiong for 3 years degree. I have to catch up to your timing at least. If not
I cannot imagine wat age am I going to marry u. I get it, from wat u say tat u want
to marry at the age of 23. So tat leave with 4 years. I must at least have a stable
job by tat time. So if I can't make it any of these shit then how am I going to find
worthy of u. I really hope I can out my 100 percent in studying. I Noe I can do it,
I have done it in my gunnery. I really hope tat I can do it to my studies too.

I won't be not contacting u during the years, I hope at least we can be friend.
Then I still can motivate myself. But tat is also not my call. I may be very
selfish bah, I really don Noe wat your heart thinks. I don Noe if u really still
love me? Give me a chance again ? Restart the whole thing or u really wana break
with me? Stop contacting me? Fk off my life forever? Is not I don trust u baby.
But I Noe u are the stubborn kind and I really did give u lots of pain. And maybe
u really don't need me anymore. I Noe this is a time out. But I really don wan to
lose u. Cause u are really my all. I really don noe my life without you is how sia.
The fear in me, is killing me. I don't even think I can survie so long not contacting u at all.

If only, I got u back. I will love u fking lots. Cause I don wan to be alone for my

the rest of my life. And only u, u are the one I wan to be together forever. I have the fear now, I will bring the fear with me. So tat, I will remind myself how much important u are to me. U are really irreplaceable. My heart and mind is killing me everyday. The feeling, the puking, the tears and the fear. I really don Noe how I am going to pass these days. This is even worse then army and all the shits in the world man. Zzz...

God, if u are there. Please hear me out. I really need her back. I am willin to 
exchange my everything just for her. If u are there. Please. I don mind to be a 
follower. As long as she come back.

Cried ? Yes

ALJH