Destiny

Destiny

Today went for ippt. Barely get a silver. Everything is tiring. But have to do it, if not have to book in early till get silver. Pushing myself to my limit. The only station I like is sit up. Cause when I lie down, I see the sky. The blue blue sky, cloud slowly floating pass. Thinking of u again. Tears just flow out, but I make it like I yawn. Zzz... Hoping tat we can just lie down on a field and just watch the sky one day. Till night so your favorite moon and stars will come out.

Everyday seem to pass so slow. Nothing to do, just thinking of u. Friends calling emo, ask me eat ask me go gym. But I just don have the feel.

Later still have to recieve punishment. I hear it is SOL. Zzz... It mean I am charge. My ord booklet will be written there. Losing my cfc chance. And still kana blacklisted. No matter where I go, pri sch, sec sch, ite now even Ns. Everywhere I go, I will kana something like this. WTF... Is this my life ? I am not a kid anymore. Luckly this does not have to inform parent. I don wan my mum to worry for me anymore.

Was flipping your fb page once I reach bunk. No update, still trying to understand why and who do u write to. Wait for me... I'll be there... Give me some time to reach there... Is this for your bf ? So good, it mean u will slowly give him your hundred percent ? Haizz... Click your bf fb too. See your comments. All his reply are so short. Is he like this ? No passion in comment ? Does he treat u like this too in real life ? I wonder. And u can put u are engage to him. But he did not put anything. Did he put private so to let u see only ? Y he don dare to show others ? He shld be proud. Zzz... Curse and swear but so watt ? I guess maybe I have did to u before too bah. So many bad things that I have done to u. I already don noe le. But so watt, I am jealous of this guy now. He did not Noe that he got a treasure. Fk man.

I hate myself for not be able to be fierce enough, maybe I am fiercer things won't end out this way ? I am weak... Just I love u is not enough. :(:(:( my face everyday is :( or :/ . I already don Noe how to :). Even I show ppl, it is a fake :$. Maybe it is my destiny bah.

I remember tat my only reason that keep u with me is tat I can make u laugh. Now after break le, I notice tat actually since a long time ago, when I use to write diary, I have actually find out tat that my destiny is to make the ppl around me laugh. That why I call myself a clown. Cause that is wat they do. And after all the laughter, ppl just continue their life. But nobody cares about the clown. That y a clown can than so many things. Lol. Stupid logic. But that is how I feel about me. Things can be so clear sometime but sometime things can be so confusing.

Don Noe wat to type le. Maybe continue at night bah. I wonder I can continue like this for how many days man. Zzz... Turn out coming soon. Sain, Friday guard duty. Zzz...

ALJH miss u girl.

Sent from my iPhone